On Generosity: My Favorite Christmas Story
I knew from a young age I wanted to play the drums.
I got my first small kit when I was 5, and when my friends and I started a “band” I played buckets. When I was 15 years old, I knew I needed a real kit.
So 24 years ago to the day (December 20th), my dad took me to Alto Music — the local music store in my home town. We looked around at the sets, but they were all too expensive.
My dad didn’t say it explicitly, but we’d be hard-pressed to get a drum set within our budget.
It was apparently obvious, because a kind man named Alan came over to us. Alan was probably around the same age I am now…maybe a little younger. He told us that he was in the store looking for an electric kit.
See, Alan and his wife just became new parents to a baby girl, and he couldn’t play his acoustic set any more. He wouldn’t be able to for a number years.
He said he saw the look on my dad’s face as we were looking at the prices and made a decision: that he would sell his set to us, cheap. How cheap?
It was a black, 5-piece Yamaha that would have easily sold for $800. But that wasn’t all. He also had 5 Zildjian A Custom cymbals: high hats (natch), a crash, ride, crash-ride, and splash. That Ride was at least $300 alone. All-in, it was probably a $1500 set.
He sold it to us for $3001. I couldn’t believe my own dumb luck. But my dad, who was much smarter than I was, couldn’t believe this man’s honest to God generosity.
He gave us his address2. We picked it up 3 days later, and I was the proud owner of my first real drum set. The first song I actually learned was probably Hanging by a Moment, by Lifehouse, which I can still play today.
Generous Acts
I think about this story at least once a year, around this time — and Alan’s generous act.
I’ve been a combination of blessed enough and prepared enough to not suffer true financial strife, which has allowed me to create and refine my own principles for generosity — helping those in need, treating others as I want to be treated.
Part of that is my parents and my Catholic upbringing.
But another big part of what shaped those principles is Alan, the drum set, and a total stranger’s incredible generosity.
Thank You, Alan.
I have no idea what happened to Alan after that. We never kept in touch. It was a pretty random act of kindness.
Maybe Alan saw himself in me…a kid who just really wanted to play the drums. Maybe it was because it was Christmas and he wanted to do something nice. He was a new dad, after all.
What I do know is that his generosity has stuck with me. My dad has always done his best to make sure we do the right thing for strangers; give up our seat on the subway, hold doors, and help carry things for people when their hands are full.
But being the recipient to such a generous act, from a total stranger, hit different.
While I sold that set in college, I’ve since picked up an electric set as well…now that I have kids of my own.
On the day I bought it, I thought of Alan again and life’s little cycles.
His daughter is around 24 now. I hope he was able to pick up a new acoustic set.
And Alan, if you happen to be reading this, you should know it wasn’t a passing fad. I love playing the drums. And now my kids do too.
Thank you.
